My wife got a new job, she's been there about two months now, and it is the first time in my life I've been above the poverty line. We own our own house now, which I never thought would happen, on a decent little portion of land. I'm writing this from my office now, which is a little mind-blowing. But I was poor for a very long time, and there's a part of me that wants to be bitter about all that I experienced leading up to this point, especially now that we're in a community apparently full of the economic class that both contributed to some of my problems and judged me for them.

Psalm 73 begins with Asaph making confession for his envy toward those who were more secure in this world than he was, especially the wicked among them. He describes the pleasures they enjoy, in contrast to himself, until he comes to the temple. It is here, encountering God, that he is reminded of the folly of seeking after riches, of the end that awaits those who put their stock in this world rather than in God. He talks about destruction and judgment, and sees that those who throw their lot in with this present world will perish with it. The psalm closes with him considering the lesson learned from this, the personal lesson. The lesson at the end is not a condemnation of the rich for their riches, though that happens elsewhere in scripture, but another confession and serious consideration of his own heart in light of what he's seen.

Judgment does await those who put their hope in riches, but this psalm calls on all of us to examine our hearts. There is always someone with more of what you value. There is always someone who seems further ahead. Are we bitter toward them? Psalm 73 says our bitterness makes us senseless, ignorant, "like a beast before" God. In the statement "whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth," we get to the core of the solution. God is our portion. He is not only all we need, but all we really have. Everything is from Him, everything is to be devoted to Him. He is to be the fullness of our joy, the highest pursuit of our lives. If we will keep this in mind, if we will fix our eyes on Him and not things of this earth, not only will we know we truly have all that we desire, but we will not be tempted to be bitter toward others.

O Lord, let us not be bitter when we see those with more than us, and let us not grow selfish with what we have. Let us always remember, in abundance or in poverty, that we have You, and that You are everything.

Oh, the myriad ways we've attempted to define a lukewarm Christian. It has become apparent that, in the modern western churches, we can apply the label to basically anyone who does not exhibit a passion for Christ in the way we expect or demand. But what did our Lord actually say of the lukewarm?​

In Revelation, where we get the term, God explains what it is about the church of Laodicea that causes Him to call them lukewarm: a belief in self-reliance and their own resources that blinds them to their deeper spiritual poverty. Wealth appeared to be doing a good enough job of meeting their physical needs, so they lost sight of the fact that their reliance was actually on God and that the greatest wealth is not physical.

The insistence on self-reliance, the desire to provide for ourselves rather than rely on God, can take forms outside of wealth. The disciples struggled with questions of status, for instance:

Immediately after this, Jesus takes a child in His arms and tells them that those who receive a child in His name receives the Father, and I have generally heard this passage used to focus entirely on that point. But Jesus is primarily dealing with the disciples, and their desire for station, and their desire for control. They must become servants to be great in the Kingdom of God. There is authority in being a parent, but the job of taking on a child is primarily one in which you serve. Children rely on adults for everything, from food to shelter to basic knowledge of how the world works, and there is a certain degree to which these things must be provided in a way that it will be fruitfully received. I cannot force my kids to learn in a way they can't learn, no matter how much authority I have in their lives or how much I'd rather teach that way. To receive a child is to receive someone helpless, in need of constant service, and to perform a thankless task that will continue for many years into the future. Picking up a child was a vivid illustration of what He was just telling them: they cannot hope to gain standing before the throne of God by taking absolute control of their world and those around them.

This desire for control, for self-reliance, to be the source of our own resources rather than subject to the will and work of God, is a form of arrogant ambition. When we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of this desire, we lose sight of our need for Christ and the glory of His work in our lives. And the result is devastating, "for where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing" (James 3:16, NASB). But we must be more like David who, despite wealth and strength and military power, still saw God as the source of all His provision and protection and saw mankind's relation to God as one of a helpless subject enveloped in an amazing grace.

David asks for blessings, for material wealth and prosperity and safety, but he never loses sight of the source of these things. In losing sight of God's provision, and thinking ourselves capable of meeting our own needs, we become like those James condemns in chapter 4 as asking with wrong motives and seeking to fill our own desires. Let us strive ever more to, like David, respond to God's provision with thankful hearts and a recognition of our own inability to do what He has done for us. May we never grow so focused on our own provision that we become lukewarm, but let it ever be said of us:

Today's reading, across the multiple sources I use, included Psalm 126, Luke 6:20-26, 1 Corinthians 7:25-31, 1 Samuel 2:1-11, and Romans 15:1-13. But I accidentally read the wrong page at one point and, instead of reading the last two, actually read 1 Samuel 2:12-21 and Philippians 4:10-23. But this accident on my end worked out pretty well.

Psalm 126 is about God pouring out His blessings on His people again. It talks about God restoring the fortunes to Zion (in the ESV, some other translations use language about returning from captivity), but it is surprisingly vague about what kinds of blessings God offers. Many of the psalms have a direct object in mind: destroying Israel's enemies, pulling the author through a dark period, something fairly specific. But not this one. And the wording of the ESV may encourage a view that the fortunes God provides are, well, either fortune (in cash) or fortune (in success).

It is true that God sometimes blesses people with these things, but the rest of my reading was very keen on removing that as a first, or even as any form of, expectation.

Both Psalm 126 and the passage from Luke (which came from different parts of my reading plan unrelated to each other), as shown above, end on the promise that those who sow in reaping shall harvest in joy. But while the psalm begins with citing God's favor, Jesus in Luke has just called the poor, the hungry, those who weep, and the despised "blessed." While the specific verses in 1 Corinthians were mostly Paul's advice about whether or not to change one's marital status after becoming a Christian, the chapter has a general thrust about glorifying God with the circumstances one has in light of the form of this world passing away, instead of concerning oneself with radically change them. The portion of Philippians was concerned with how Paul has learned to be content with all circumstances and is now urging his readers to mirror that. And 1 Samuel was a cautionary section, about God opposing priests who put their own appetites and desires above their service to God and His commands.

While yesterday's reading was all about leaning on God for rest, today was all about leaning on God for so much more. His greatest blessing, in the end, is Himself. God is with us; when we mourn we can cry to Him, He provides when we are poor and hungry, He is making all things new and working in our circumstances to bring restoration to all things, He is our source of contentment.